run away, again

I know I'm talking about this a lot, but my mind wasn't letting me fall asleep last night as it was going over this all again. So here's another bit of insight about running away that's particular to me.

Because of how I've lived and where I've lived, I've always been able to borrow money from family when I need it. And since the rest of my family is doing ok, it's never been a problem. I've managed to work on financial responsibility somewhat by making myself not ask my family for help, but it still is slow. If I were to move away to where I knew absolutely no one, then I would be forced to get along by myself.

I guess it seems like a number of things would just be easier away from anyone I know. And when I came back, given a sufficient amount of time, people would accept the changes in me. Maybe I want to try to "be my own person." I don't know.

Ok, I keep on adding to this topic, so this time I'm just going to edit this post. I was thinking some more about how other people force me, or anyone, into their view of them. I think that this is maybe what Jesus was getting at when He said that a prophet will not be accepted in his own town. The people at home think they know a person well, since they grew up with them, and so they will always hold them to that view of the person, not of what they have become.